First of all, I would like to thank everyone for their kind words, support and encouragement over the past few days. As I was telling a friend... marriage isn't always a smooth road full of happy smiles, fluttering butterflies and raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. We all have our ups and downs, our get the heck out of my face kind of days. Usually, while one spouse is up, the other could be down or vise versa. Unfortunately, in this case, both Gary & I were both in a very low spot and lashed out at each other.... trying to hurt each other. The hurt was fully accomplished and now we are doing the healing.
I had offers for a listening ear to offers to come and get me and my daughter. I am flabbergasted at the outpouring of support. I didn't know I was worth that. I deeply appreciate it... all of it. It feels like I have a group of friends' support that will rally and circle the wagons to protect me. It's a great feeling.
I had a wonderful therapy session, where I was able to talk about what happened with an impartial person, come home with some issues to work on and some communication tools to use when discussing it with Gary. So far, so good. We've done alot of talking and both of us realize that we have so much more to learn about each other than what the past 21 years has taught us.
I am a wonderful, beautiful person both inside and out and he knows this and appreciates it. I am not tooting my own horn. I think it's important to say these things about oneself in order to fully believe them. If I tell myself I am stupid, fat and ugly...after a while, isn't that how I would really see myself?
He has admitted that the actions and words he used were very inappropriate and he has apologized. I know he means it. Neither of us are ready to 'give up our marriage over a cup of coffee' (his words)... and we both are willing to work harder at it.
I also wanted to add that the reason my blog might not show up correctly for some is that it was created for a 1024x768 resolution. I'm working on that now to see if it can get staightened out.