Thursday, July 07, 2005

Circling the Wagons

First of all, I would like to thank everyone for their kind words, support and encouragement over the past few days. As I was telling a friend... marriage isn't always a smooth road full of happy smiles, fluttering butterflies and raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. We all have our ups and downs, our get the heck out of my face kind of days. Usually, while one Image hosted by Photobucket.comspouse is up, the other could be down or vise versa. Unfortunately, in this case, both Gary & I were both in a very low spot and lashed out at each other.... trying to hurt each other. The hurt was fully accomplished and now we are doing the healing.

I had offers for a listening ear to offers to come and get me and my daughter. I am flabbergasted at the outpouring of support. I didn't know I was worth that. I deeply appreciate it... all of it. It feels like I have a group of friends' support that will rally and circle the wagons to protect me. It's a great feeling.

I had a wonderful therapy session, where I was able to talk about what happened with an impartial person, come home with some issues to work on and some communication tools to use when discussing it with Gary. So far, so good. We've done alot of talking and both of us realize that we have so much more to learn about each other than what the past 21 years has taught us.

I am a wonderful, beautiful person both inside and out and he knows this and appreciates it. I am not tooting my own horn. I think it's important to say these things about oneself in order to fully believe them. If I tell myself I am stupid, fat and ugly...after a while, isn't that how I would really see myself?

He has admitted that the actions and words he used were very inappropriate and he has apologized. I know he means it. Neither of us are ready to 'give up our marriage over a cup of coffee' (his words)... and we both are willing to work harder at it.

I also wanted to add that the reason my blog might not show up correctly for some is that it was created for a 1024x768 resolution. I'm working on that now to see if it can get staightened out.

10 comments:

Sue said...

I couldn't read alot of your latest blog, my screen is off or something. But I am so glad you guys are ok now. I can't stand it when anyone is in pain around me, I feel so helpless. And I never know what to say.

Sandi said...

Just as long as you realize that mom was serious. She has a large skilett for his head. LOL

The only thing about your site that does not work for me anymore is your quiz thingy. It does not open anymore.

Melody said...

Be sure to tell yourself every single day...maybe even two or three or a hundred times that you are a good and beautiful person. Love to you.

Julie said...

I am so glad to hear things are better in your world. I agree that you shouldn't give up on your marriage...there are a lot of steps before it comes to that. My husband and I went through something similar and decided to seperate about 13 years ago and that time apart actually brought us closer than ever. He's a changed man and I did a lot of changing too. We realized how much we really meant to each other we got a beautiful daughter out of our reuniting. You and Gary can get to that same place also...I'm sure of it. Even through the anger and tears, remember what made you love him and hold on to that. And remember that it's ok to have bad days. If we all had perfect marriages wouldn't it just become boring and "same old-same old" and end in divorce anyway. Fighting is great as long as you are fighting for something you believe in and I think you believe in your marriage.
Keep posting and smile and be happy, no matter what happens. And YES you do have remarkable support out here...we are all here for you...isn't that what blogging is all about.

melodyann said...

Sheri, I agree with the "other" Mel, tell yourself that a hundred times a day.

I get so down sometimes I wonder what in the hell am I here for...

But I have two beautiful children and some great friends and family who remind me quite often.

So, I am reminding you, I am so honored to be able to call you friend. You ARE a beautiful person, and a kind and generous spirit.

I am but an email away if you need someone........

Sleeping Mommy said...

I'm glad you went to therapy to discuss this issue and that professional was able to give you some tools to work with.

I know I wouldn't be able to just give up or walk away either, not without knowing I had tried everything and that there was nothing left that was worth staying for.

Tammy said...

Yes you are!!!! Beautiful all the way around! So glad you and Gary are working through this and are able to talk about it. Thanks for the update!

Tatiana said...

Your new "home made" template looks beautiful!

Kim said...

Sheri, I am happy to hear that you are no longer "in that place", however, should you have occassion to revisit it, be certain to heed the words of everyone who has offered you help. There is no time limit on support, never forget that. Much love to you honey, and remember, we are always here.

LibrarianOnTheLoose said...

Yay sheri! Sorry, i am just now catching up on the blogs!!!!