Happy BIrthday to Me?

Today I am 48. That's not old is it? I reminisce about my dad bringing me home in his shirt pocket. I think about that all morning and at 1pm he calls me. I am so happy to hear from him but at the same time feel guilty because - what if he didn't call my baby sister a week ago? That would be like him - to remember one child and forget he other. I know my sibling suffered cruelty at my father's hand when I had left home and I wish I could take it back. But I can't. I can only move forward and support them. I cant control what my father does - but I can control how it makes me feels. He can not MAKE me feel anything - I allow it to happen. 6 years of therapy taught me that. I learned to never, ever, never, ever, start a sentence with he words "you make me feel......" because no one can MAKE you feel anything. Can you imagine the power you would have in the world if you could actually MAKE someone feel something?

Hannah will be starting a blog soon. She and I have talked about it and we both feel it would be a good way for her to put her thoughts and feelings down and at the same time, it would be schooling.

Happy 2012

I checked my blog today and this is pathetic! I can not believe I would let 6 months go by without putting a post up. Okay - I have chastized myself and vow to do better.

2012 is starting off just pleasant. Homeschooling is going super and Hannah does a great job and loves it. I enjoy it too and we spend a lot of time together. She starts a session of homeschool cooking classes this week. They run every other week until the middle of May. The groupd of kids she cooks with are fun and she seems to enjoy it. On Wednesdays, she rides at the stable for a couple hours.

Summer 2011

As sporadically as I post, I'll just title this one Summer 2011 and add to it over the days and keep updating it. Here's Gary and Josh as they kicked ass and took names at the 2011 Father's Day Classic on Androscoggin Lake. Josh even did it with bleeding eyes after attending a wedding and staying up until all hours of the morning doing God-knows-what....after all - he isn't 30 yet. He can still party all night and go fishing all day the next day. We party all night and have to take 3 days off to recover. Who am I kidding? We don't party all night. If we stay up past 10:00pm we announce the next day to anyone who will listen how we "stayed up waaaay late!"



My brother is doing pretty good. He had aweek of not doing so good but we've moved paast that and continue to take his sobriety one day at a time and today is good.