Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Happy Birthday to Me?

Today I am 48. That's not old is it? I reminisce about my dad bringing me home in his shirt pocket. I think about that all morning and at 1pm he calls me. I am so happy to hear from him but at the same time feel guilty because - what if he didn't call my baby sister a week ago? That would be like him - to remember one child and forget he other. I know my sibling suffered cruelty at my father's hand when I had left home and I wish I could take it back. But I can't. I can only move forward and support them. I cant control what my father does - but I can control how it makes me feels. He can not MAKE me feel anything - I allow it to happen. 6 years of therapy taught me that. I learned to never, ever, never, ever, start a sentence with the words "you make me feel......" because no one can MAKE you feel anything. Can you imagine the power you would have in the world if you could actually MAKE someone feel something?

Hannah will be starting a blog soon. She and I have talked about it and we both feel it would be a good way for her to put her thoughts and feelings down and at the same time, it would be schooling.

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