Sorry dear readers...... I couldn't think of anything to say to make Say It Sunday worthwhile. Now, you ask, what in God's name would make me think I have anything to write? Well.... I wanted to share my Christmas tree with you. It's not the Monster Tree of Maine that my friend Melody had the big kahoonas to allow in her house, but it did come out fairly pretty this year. Hannah helped me decorate it so the majority or the ornaments are a few feet from the ground. I tried to tell her to put all the unbreakable stuff near the bottom so when our 100 year old cat decides to get frisky with the tree, nothing gets broken.
My oldest decorations are some sparkly beads from my maternal great-grandmother, Hazel, who died in 1991 at the ripe old age of 92. I think they are from the 1920's or 30's. I like to picture her decorating her tree back then... in a dress, high heels and pearls. A cigarette hanging from her lips and a glass of Christmas cheer not far. I did have my Christmas cheer tonight when I decorated mine but I quit smoking almost 4 years ago. I can't stand up in high heels and haven't worn a dress in about 5 years. Oh well... Hazel was with me in spirit though.
We went out to get our tree today. It took all of 20 minutes to drive to the farmstand, find the perfect tree and throw it in the back of the truck. The poor guy working the farmstand looked all dejected because he didn't get to do his job to his full hired potential. The conversation he and I had went something like this:
Farmstand Guy: "Hey lady... I can net that tree for you if you like. It will only take a moment."
Me: "Huh? What? Net the tree? What for?"
Farmstand Guy: "Well, some people like to have their tree carefully wrapped in netting to help it travel better and protect the branches. Then, once you put it in the stand in your house....you take the net off and gently release the branches."
Me: "Oh buddy.... we only live a mile down the road and don't you know that half the fun of this day for me is watching my husband wrestle a 4 foot wide tree through a 3 foot doorway and then proceed to knock every last thing off the wall from the doorway to the tree spot while spewing forth language** (and millions of pine needles) that would make a sailor blush? ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE AWAY MY CHRISTMAS JOY? No... I'll pass on the net....thank you very much."
***WARNING - the following is an outline of the violent handling of a sacred Christmas Tree. Please read at your own risk.
A Christmas tree farm worker would probably shudder in horror at the abuse my Christmas trees take. It gets thrown in the back of a truck. The bottom 3 inches of the trunk get brutally sawed off and the whole tree is slammed onto a pointy spike in the bottom of a tree stand and four large screws proceed to be driven into each side of it. The tree is then pulled and pushed through a doorway with a manly serenade (**see above) and unceremoniously dropped into the corner of the livingroom. A drunken woman (me!) proceeds to water said tree and overload it with at least 1452lbs of ornaments. A couple weeks later (December 25th approx 10am to be precise) the above events get repeated in reverse the the tree goes out to be stuck in a snowbank until spring. We do put stuff for the birds in the tree during the winter but once Spring arrives... the carcass of the tree goes onto the (gulp) burnpile where it is reduced to a small pile of ashes. And so it goes.............................................
Edited to add: Take a moment and check out my sister Sue's blog. She has the most awesome Christmas tree! It's a Moose Chew Bonsai Birch..... only in Maine~