Complete the following sentences:
1) My uncle once: chaperoned a trip to Paris for his high school (where he taught) and sent 2 girls back home to the states for disobeying the rules. They stayed out all night and couldn't be found. Can you believe the parents were so upset and appalled over that... that they sued the school and him??
2) Never again in my life: will I sacrifice time with my family for anything.
3) When I was five: I started kindergarten at the same school my daughter goes to now.
4) High School was: the best time being with my friends.
6) I once met: The owner of Fruit of the Loom (woohoo huh?)
7) There's this girl I know who: cheats on her husband
8) Once, at a bar: I threw a pitcher of beer in a guy's face.
9) By noon I'm usually: ready for a nap having been up 7 hours.
10) Last night I: went to bed early
11) If I had only: started saving money long before I did
12) Next time I go to church: will be to attend a wedding.
13) What worries me most: is growing old alone.
14) When I turn my head right, I see: my diningroom table
16) You know I'm lying when: the word LIAR flashes on my forehead (that's what my dad used to tell me)
17) You know what I miss most about the eighties: smoking, Aqua Net, my Volkswagen.
18) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: The Shrew
19) By this time, next year: I'll be one year closer to retirement!
20) A better name for me would be: Gloria Gloom
21) I have a hard time understanding: any type of fractions, equations or logic problems
22) If I ever go back to school I'll: get a teaching degree
23) You know I like you if: I genuinely smile at you
24) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: the person giving it to me
25) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferarro are: no relatives of mine.
26) Take my advice, never: try the hot mustard at a Chinese place. EVEN if your husband says "but it's not too hot!"
27) My ideal breakfast is: (sorry arteries!) Eggs, bacon and lots of crispy homefries.
29) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: an American Express card, a haughty attitude and a love of lobster
30) Why won't anyone: leave me a million bucks?
31) If you spend the night at my house, DO: be prepared to have dog/cat hair on your clothing.
32) I'd stop my wedding for: almost nothing
33) The world could do without: Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise
34) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: experience near drowning
35) My favorite blonde is: Goldie Hawn
36) Paperclips are more useful than: Post-it Notes (but I'm still addicted to them)
37) San Diego means: a zoo I'd love to visit
38) And by the way: yes, I know my butt is big, my freckles are yucky and I have barnacles of old age but I'm still beautiful and am someone's hero.