Saturday, April 23, 2005

The Shaving Sisterhood

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI like something free as well as the next person, so when I heard about a chance to receive a FREE! Schick Quattro Razor, with no purchase necessary, I quickly sent in my address. Well, dear readers, it arrived today and lo and behold - this is a sight for sore eyes! I never dreamed I could be so razor-illiterate. Let me tell you that in Maine, at this time of year, all the woodsy women are starting to come out of that winter hibernation and shaving the pelt that has been allowed to grow over the long winter. It can sometimes be a 2 razor deal. Not so anymore with the NEW! (and FREE!) Quattro. As quoted in the 22 page User Manual (22 pgs. I shit you NOT!) that came with it.....

Welcome to a journey into the world of high performance shaving. Now that you own the first high performance four-blade razor for women, you are a part of a growing group of smooth-legged women - women who don't settle for anything less..... We are honored you have decided to reach for a new level of shaving satisfaction and are joining this hair-free journey with us.

Ladies, if I can shave my legs without getting a severe leg cramp from contorting my body, shaving off some goosebumps, or requiring a few sutures, I am, wait I am beyond satisfied. I am positively estatic.

This booklet came with chapters...including Troubleshooting (again, I shit you not!) I mean how difficult can this be? What struck me funny is the Shaving Glossary of Terms that I had no clue existed. They were very enlightening and with further ado, I'd like to share them and a sentence using the term with you .....

Bathtub Tinsel, noun

The ring of itty-bitty hairs and soap film left in the tub after a serious shave. "Just washed up from my week-long camping trip. Talk about hanging some bathtub tinsel!"

Chastity Pelt, noun

What you have on your legs when you intentionally go without shaving before a date as a way of making yourself behave. "I don't care how hot he is. I've got my chastitiy pelt on, so I'm not getting into trouble."

Penguin-Style, adverb

To keep your arms down and close to your body because it's summer, you're sleeveless and you forgot to shave your pits. "After all those stares I got on the subway, I'm going to have to go penguin-style until I can get home to shave".

Poky Little Puppy, noun

A tiny, prickly spot on an otherwise perfectly shaved leg that you can't stop petting for the rest of the day. Usually on a "how could I have have missed it?" location like the knee. "During that boring meeting, I kept petting the poky little puppy on my knee under the conference table".

Psycho, noun

A small, yet suprisingly gory cut from a cheap plastic razor - which creates your own scary shower scene. "Although it didn't hurt, that nick on my ankle sure turned out to be a psycho!"

Taming the Cave Lady, verb

To shave out-of-the-way places such as the toes - where women aren't shown by movies or magazines to have hair, yet almost all do. "Because I've got dark hair, I make taming the cave lady part of my shaving routine when open-toe season comes around."

Like-Buttah Legs, noun

The delicious feeling of melting into crisp bed sheets with silky, straight-from-the-bath legs - moments after shaving with a high performance razor. "It was a perfect night: a good meal, a rented movie and my like-buttah legs."

Well, there you have it dear readers..... the Quattro Sisterhood glossary of shaving terms to incorporate into your daily language. Did you know they exist? Do you have any new ones to add?

p.s I bought a pop-up camper that I pick up and setup for the first time on Thursday. This ought to be fun!


Sandi said...

Post a pic of the camper. Where did you get the free set? I love the shaving cream brush, so old fashioned. Although I would probably never stop laughing at the "user guide".

Sandi said...

Sheri, I would love to pick your brain on how to do some things to my blog. Call me Monday or Tuesday if you get a chance please.

Sandi said...

Never mind I got it figured out.

Sue said...

can't stop laughing, where do i get the free razor?

Melody said...

The only things I ever get free are Panty hose, 2 sizes to small, pens, with someone elses name on them and chewing gum. I have to get rid of the of my winter Pelt before I leave on vaca. Maybe I should WAX...OUCH! Good luck with that camper.

Cindy said...

Hahahahaha. Who knew there had to be a glossary for a razor??

I usually only go one week without shaving. That is during my period when I know no one is getting anywhere near my legs. I'm not sure I could go an entire winter.

Guess that is why I am in Virginia. :)

Gina in N'Awlins said...

I got mine today too! I pulled out the "manual" and just giggled and giggled ;~) I can't wait for my Like-Buttah Legs . . .

CONGRATS on the camper! We love ours!