Sunday, April 17, 2005

The Condiment King

When I started this blog, I meant for it to be a place where I could go to write my feelings about different things. However, I am finding that more and more, I need to write about Gary. I truly didn't want this blog to become a rant about my husband but at times I can't help myself. For the real dirt on him and the other guys, you'll have to read here. I haven't done a post on this new blog yet, but I feel a good one coming up! I guess it boils down to the biggest rant in my life is Gary. I love him to pieces but he drives me bonkers. Is this true love? Must be.

I call my husband the Condiment King. I know what a condiment is but he doesn't. He confuses them with side dishes. I've tried to tell him a condiment is a garnish, like ketchup or relish. He insists that cottage cheese is a condiment. If we are having meat, potato and a vegetable for dinner, he still requires his 'condiments' ie: cottage cheese, sliced cheese, pickles, olives, cold beets etc. Tonight we cooked a pork roast and I was outside with him and Hannah playing in the yard. I said "I need to go in and peel potatoes to have with the roast or all you'll have is your condiments". "That's ok hun, " he said "I'm happy with just condiments". WTF??? I've been married to this man for 21 years and know he tells me that meat and condiments are ok for dinner? Before dinner, I open a can of cold beets and a can of baby corn. I slice up some cheese and pickles, open cottage cheese, uncovered the left-over cranberry sauce and put some sliced bread on a plate. He comes to the table with a slice of roast pork, proceeds to load his plate with 'condiments' and eats. Twenty minutes later, he pushes back and declares this was an 'awesome' supper. Wow! How easy is dinner going to be now? With the warmer grilling weather quickly approaching, supper won't be so much of a chore anymore. Meat & condiments!


Melody said...

How funny! When we first got married Lloyd had to have Whipped potato with every he eats what I put in front of him (or what he cooks) and is happy. A bag of potatoes last me months...or I throw them away when they get soggy and sprouted. Times change. I made Shrimp Peawiggle last week and thought of Gary. I have a picture of him eating that and sharing with Dustin when he was about 2.

Ali said...

I cut out the potato and rice and pasta long ago. Nothing easier than meat and a veggie (mostly from can but I added a little difficulty with fresh). Life should be easy! ;o)

Sue said...

Ej would say "at least Gary gets meat with his condiments.". We sometimes have just cottage cheese and fruit and bread and butter for supper. But I'm lazy, so that's my excuse. Plus I love that kind of food and so do my kids. I told Melody that I was going to try and get you to come up for Prime Rib at West Branch this summer, it's on Thursday nights! So plan on it!

lisabazillionkds said...

Toooo funny ;)