Friday, January 13, 2006

New Reality Show - Gary Style

I guess I should start out this post telling you all that the picture I had posted of that wet cat was not ANYTHING that resides in my house. Christ, something like that would scare the shit out of me! yikes!

Yesterday, I was sitting at my desk minding my own business when a certain someone asked me a question. I answered the question as best I could only to be told "OK, Hormone. Take it easy! No need to get nasty!" "Excuse me?" I said, thumbing through a magazine, "I don't think I'm being hormonal. You think your so smart. I suppose you are going to tell me that by the level of my hormonalness (is that a word?) you know what cycle day I am on?" He thought about that for a minute and said "Yes, I can. Judging from your tone of voice and level of crank, I'd say your monthly friend will be here on Monday or Tuesday!" I slammed my magazine shut. "WHATEVER! You always think you know everything. I'm not supposed to start until the 16th! HA!" He pointed to the January calendar and said "That's what I said... Monday or Tuesday." Jeez.... what a fuckin' know-it-all I'm married to.

After this little exchange, Gary told me that he has an idea for a new reality show that will test the inner strength of a man like no other. It's called Hormonal Week with My Wife and he promises that it will have all the necessary ingredients to be a great show. It will have spine-chilling suspense, humor, drama, emotion, screaming, cussing, death threats and a host of other tidbits. He says he loves living for a week each month having to throw his hat through the doorway before entering the house just to gauge the reception he's going to get. Why he says things like this when he knows I'd rather skin him alive is beyond me. I guess he hasn't heard of the latest scientific study:

A study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is ovulating, she is likely to be attracted to men with more rugged and masculine features. If she is menstruating, she is likely to be impressed by a man with scissors driven through his temple.

All I can say is that my man knows me well. He should......tomorrow will be 22 years of wedded bliss together.
Happy Anniversary my sweet Gary.


Sarah said...

You two are hilarious!

Congrats on 22 years...may you have many, many more!
Happy Anniversary!

Stephany said...

Lol you guys sound like Dan and I. Happy Anniversary tomorrow!! and many many more.

Melody said...

22 like just yesterday! Happy Anniversary!

Julie said...

My poor Tim has two ladies in the house that start on pretty much the same day. He has to deal with adult hormones and then 13 year olds's hormones. It's been SO much fun around here!
Love the post Sheri and I am looking forward to that reality show.
Happy Anniversary to both of you and try to enjoy each other today. Hey, at least you can have sex without it being too messy! He should love that! Kisses!

LibrarianOnTheLoose said...

Happy anniversary, sheri! Best of everything to you guys!

Heidi said...

LOL at Gary's reality show idea. :)

Happy anniversary!

Heather said...

Too funny :)

Happy Anniversary!!!! 22 years - wow!!! And I thought eight was long! :)

lime said...

that was hilarious!!! he pays attention at least. that's a good thing!

ccw said...

Happy Anniversary!

This is soo funny.