Thursday, November 03, 2005

Gary cuts to the chase....

Today, I read on Kim's blog about her husband taking a pair of scissors to a new jacket, in an attempt to fix the sleeve to his liking. It cracked me up and reminded me of something Gary did one time that was about as silly.

My grandmother on my mother's side always bought us real nice gifts for Christmas. I would usually get a great Land's End turtleneck and Gary would get a nice button up shirt. One year she got him a London Fog flannel shirt. It was a beautiful color and looked fabulous on him. Gary is not a big clothes person... most of his clothes he buys at a box-store and could care less about anything other than flannel or jeans. If he puts a button up shirt on with a collar... watch out.....he is seriously dressed for a night on the town.

That shirt looked so nice on him and was one of his best shirts, so I was very surprised to see him put it on over a t-shirt to go hunting. Gary doesn't differentiate his clothes between 'good' ones and 'work' ones. They are all just clothes that serve a purpose. ... to keep his bare ass from getting cold in the woods.

When he got home from hunting that day and took off his jacket I noticed that the entire left side of the front of his new shirt was gone. I mean it was gone.... ripped out from the bottom to the pocket and in a swath about 6 inches wide. "What the hell happened to your shirt?" I asked him. He looks down at it and shrugs "Well," he says "I was out in the woods and had to go the bathroom so I cut my shirt to wipe my butt with." "Are you kidding me?" I'm standing there glaring at him. "You cut a $30 dollar shirt to wipe your ass with? Are you nuts? Why didn't you just cut your nasty underwear off and use them?" He drops his pants to show me that he is flying Commando and yells "I had already done that this morning! This was my afternoon colon cleansing."

I couldn't help but laugh. He really does the funniest (although outrageous) stuff sometimes. I just gotta love his honesty

16 comments:

ccw said...

I am in tears!! That is simply too much, sooo funny.

At least he seems to be "regular"...

Stephany said...

OMG...how funny!!! Men do the dumbest things some times. It's so strange how my husband done the same exact thing one time. With a brand new Tommy shirt. I was pissed!!! He had no clue as to why I cared so much.. I said do you realize you just cut up a 50 dollar shirt??? He said what the hell are you buying me a 50 dollar shirt for?? then it was my fault you know...lol

. said...

Oh that is too too funny. Such a man...for sure he is NOT a gay man...lol.

Jack said...

That's so funny! :-)

Melody said...

Rolling on the floor laughing. Even after all these years I still can not believe the stupidity of men...well some men...most men...oh shit...you know it's all fo them. LOL

jenbeauty said...

OMG...that is hilarious...he already used his underwear and had to rip his shirt...I can't stop laughing!!!

Heather said...

Now that is hilarious. Oh my god.

Sleeping Mommy said...

Sounds like something my husband would do. LOL!

Julie said...

Ok Sheri! I'm really laughing now! Thanks for that. My husband has used his fruits for the same purpose so I can relate. He hasn't yet gone into his shirts for it though. I personally use Oak leaves...they are the best. Men have no idea how to live without luxuries!
My mood is getting better. I'm nervous about the job but it's something I have to do. I'll just take it one day at a time. As for the ohter stuff, I really am trying to get to a better place emotionally. Tim has eased up on the overtime for a while and is on vacation in a couple of weeks so that will help. Thanks for the kind thoughts...I'll be fine. I'll be spending time with Mel coming up and that always seems to help. Thanks for making me laugh today. Needed it! Luvs!

lime said...

oh man! that is priceless! youcan buy little mini rolls of toilet paper for him to carry so he doesn go cutting up clothes anymore. great stockign stufferes.....too much, amazing, lol

Lu said...

only a man would do something like this and think it is normal....sorry guys... ;P

too funny!

Tatiana said...

Wonder what would happen if he had to stay longer? Would he come back home naked? ;)

FunkyB said...

I just really needed that giggle today! I cannot believe he wiped his bottom with London Fog. Wow!

Jules said...

OMG -- I'm laughing so loud I woke up DH on the couch.

THAT is funny!

Lucy Stern said...

I think I would have killed him. Why didn't he take a small roll of toilet paper with him? Men can do some of the stupidest things. I don't think I would by him any more London Fog shirts...

Kim said...

Oh no no no no no. These two shall never meet.