Today, I read on Kim's blog about her husband taking a pair of scissors to a new jacket, in an attempt to fix the sleeve to his liking. It cracked me up and reminded me of something Gary did one time that was about as silly.
My grandmother on my mother's side always bought us real nice gifts for Christmas. I would usually get a great Land's End turtleneck and Gary would get a nice button up shirt. One year she got him a London Fog flannel shirt. It was a beautiful color and looked fabulous on him. Gary is not a big clothes person... most of his clothes he buys at a box-store and could care less about anything other than flannel or jeans. If he puts a button up shirt on with a collar... watch out.....he is seriously dressed for a night on the town.
That shirt looked so nice on him and was one of his best shirts, so I was very surprised to see him put it on over a t-shirt to go hunting. Gary doesn't differentiate his clothes between 'good' ones and 'work' ones. They are all just clothes that serve a purpose. ... to keep his bare ass from getting cold in the woods.
When he got home from hunting that day and took off his jacket I noticed that the entire left side of the front of his new shirt was gone. I mean it was gone.... ripped out from the bottom to the pocket and in a swath about 6 inches wide. "What the hell happened to your shirt?" I asked him. He looks down at it and shrugs "Well," he says "I was out in the woods and had to go the bathroom so I cut my shirt to wipe my butt with." "Are you kidding me?" I'm standing there glaring at him. "You cut a $30 dollar shirt to wipe your ass with? Are you nuts? Why didn't you just cut your nasty underwear off and use them?" He drops his pants to show me that he is flying Commando and yells "I had already done that this morning! This was my afternoon colon cleansing."
I couldn't help but laugh. He really does the funniest (although outrageous) stuff sometimes. I just gotta love his honesty