Sunday, October 09, 2005

Lake Erie or Bust

Well, he's off to Lake Erie for the week. Good Lord, were his pants full of ants this morning! He was pacing back and forth, couldn't sit still and watching the clock. He couldn't leave until 12:30 because his partner had a brunch to attend with his wife. Gary, of course, thinks things like brunches are a total waste of time.

"What in hell is so wrong with people that they can't get up out of bed in the morning to eat breakfast? Now the rest of us have to suffer through their lame ass excuses of things like brunch? They ought to call it Lazyman Breakfast. Or Ruin my Fuckin' Day or Why Me? I tried to tell him that becuase they were leaving for a week and this partner is in a fairly new relationship, that it might be important that he spend some time with his wife before leaving. "Yeah, ok sure. But how come he has to schedule a day of fishing a year in fucking advance with her? Huh? Tell me that Sheri. He's pussy-whipped. I'm telling you. He's enjoying that pansy ass brunch about as much as I'm enjoying waiting around for him." I throw my hands up in the air... whatever!

So, this morning I'm running around helping Gary get ready. He's been packed (and did it himself) for a week. If he packs this way, he does pretty well. He started out last Monday with his toiletry bag packed and a few pairs of clean underwear and socks. "I'm all ready to go!" he announces. I glance into the large LLBean tote that holds what he thinks is a weeks worth of stuff. Mmmmmmm... how to go about this? Throughout the week, whenever I carried clean laundry upstairs past his 'packed' bag, I stashed a few more things into it. By this morning... he WAS packed and ready to go... and still thinks he did it. Yes, I am a sneaky bitch. lol Listen, I know my husband. If I didn't do this... he'd come home screaming at me how he had to go to Walmart and buy stuff to wear because he didn't have enough with him.

How many fishing poles does it take to catch a fish? Answer...... about $8000 dollars worth. Here's the poles that he and his partner use. Can you imagine? And they USE them. All of them. They have certain lures tied onto certain poles. It saves time to not have to keep re-tying in the event Mr. Bass doesn't like what you've thrown at him. This is serious business, folks. Not your average jaunt down to the local fishing hole to toss a worm and bobber in. These men are fanatical about their fishing and their equipment. I know. I've accidently put the tip of a rod into the garage ceiling. You'd think I had just spray painted on the Mona Lisa the way he freaked out.

Hannah wanted to get in on the action and excitemnet too so she helped him get ready by cleaning his brake lights with a half a bottle of Windex and an entire roll of papertowels. Good girl!

You'd better practice washing windows because it seems that any college education fund we might have had saved for you has been sent to these guys:

12 comments:

mainiax said...

whatever we do we have to make sure our husbands NEVER meet I thought the 5 poles he brings with us is enough. I have never figured out why he needs so many and I bring one. I think fall is finally here I went to the fryberg fair today in the rain had to have my yearly kettle corn. I hope your guys have good weather mine are in Houlton bird hunting this weekend.

Cindy said...

That is a lot of poles. For my husband, it is guns. He loves to shoot, and has about - oh I don't even know how many guns. And when he goes, he has to take just about all of them. It's fun I guess because you can use different ones, but the packing and packing that needs to be done. Sheesh!

I think there is a WalMart around every corner for a reason. I know whenver we go on vacation, I forget at least one thing. Stupid me.

. said...

I am def a hook bobber and work kind of guy. This has to be a straight man thing if I ever saw one!!!

Beth said...

Lazy Man's Breakfast. Bahahaha!! I loved that line. I couldn't believe all the gear he has for fishing. OMG! Now I feel bad at bitching at hubby for spending $300 on stuff. =/

Stephany said...

A whole week without you hubby how lucky are you...lol I can't even get my husband to go uptown without me. Hannah is getting so big, It seems like just the other day you were sending me pictures of her as a baby. Have a good week hubbyless. ;o)

Sue said...

Lol, at least he's gone for a week! Enjoy your peace and quiet. And hopefully he'll come home with a big fat check!

Lauren said...

Cabela's has more than a few of our dimes as well -- only from the GUN side of things. (How scary is THAT?) Enjoy your testosterone-free week!!! ;o)

Dave said...

My father is just like that about fishing and him and my brother in-law have to shop from Cabelas and if they are around one of the shops and don't stop in to see whats to be had then the world will end.

Lu said...

haha we got the new cabela's catalog in the mail yesterday.....i promptly threw it in the trash...

Kerry said...

Hi Sheri,
Just a quick note to tell you how much loved this post. My husband is a gear head as well. Fishing (fly), hunting (big game, fowl, you name it) and he has to have the gear that is specific to each pursuit. Makes Christmas easy... I just ask for his list. He has everything very neatly cateloged - literally. Catelogs are marked, the pages folded down, the specific item number circled and any gift certificates we may have tucked into the page (I can buy him more that way). Unfortunately this house building has had us financially strapped the past two years, so he's felt deprived. When driving across the country, we had to stop at the Cabela's Flag ship store... for four hours!!!

Good lord.

KL

Cylithria™ said...

Hhahahaha gotta love our fishermen or women as the case maybe........ and to think when he gets back you get to clean up everything, Joy - Not! Hey sheri how are you lady. Stopping by to send you a cyber hug!!!

Heather said...

Oh boy. It seems men latch on to a hobby more obsessively than women, why is that? With my hubby, its cars. Always doing/buying something related to his cars.

Do some serious relaxing while he's gone :)