The Genius In Me

Believe it or not, you should be able to read this:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

Now, I am by no means a genius but when I see things like this and I am able to do them, I get all cocky and think to myself, "F--ing A! I am one smart shit!" Then voila! I come across a puzzle like this to put me in my place:

Three people check into a hotel. They pay $30 to the manager and go to their room. The manager finds out that the room rate is $25 and gives $5 to the bellboy to return. On the way to the room the bellboy reasons that $5 would be difficult to share among three people so he pockets $2 and gives $1 to each person. Now each person paid $10 and got back $1. So they paid $9 each, totalling $27. The bellboy has $2, totalling $29. Where is the remaining dollar?

Or this one:

A boy has just purchased a fishing pole it is 5 feet long. The boy has to take a bus home and when the bus comes he is about to get on when the Bus driver informs him of the rule that no object longer than 4 feet can be taken aboard the bus. The boy then goes back into the store and gets something. He then catches the next bus and is able to board it and get home. What did the boy get? He did not alter the pole in anyway it stays intact.

I can't stop the drool from forming at the corner of my mouth. I sit there with an empty mind and can't even begin to figure it out. Now the website where I found these logic problems will provide the answers to dimwits like myself if I email and ask for them... but my pride won't let me. I'd rather cheat and ask all of you. Have any of you heard of these problems and know the answer to them (and are willing to share with me?)?

I mowed the lawn today using a handmower. Now this might not seem like a big deal but it is because we have a riding lawn mower. Why don't I use that, you ask? (Insert cackling laughter here) Because it doesn't start! It's rigged! It's held together with duct tape! I asked Gary to explain how to start it this morning and he said "You have to touch the positive terminal on the battery to the positive side of the blah blah blah at the same time. Be sure to pull the choke before you blah blah blah and then push the choke yada yada yada." The drool began again. It was too complicated and worth too much trouble to learn so I used ol' LuLu. I pulled her sad carcass out of the bushes near the garden shed, dusted her off and she fired up on the 2nd pull of the rope. She's a tough old bird because she can chew rocks, sticks and whatever other odds and ends that don't get picked up off the lawn. She has two speeds which are OFF and WIDE OPEN because I broke the throttle cable off her in a fit last summer. Earlier this year I broke the safety do-hingy that shuts the motor off if you let go of the handle. Over the winter, rust had formed on it so I tested Gary's motto "If It Doesn't Move, Force It" and it snapped off. Now, ol' LuLu doesn't shut off and unless you pull the wire off the sparkplug. Oh yes, we are very high-tech around here!