Friday, July 15, 2005

Living in the Dash

I saw this answer given by Julie on a post of the Gardening Knitter's. If you haven't had a chance to read Julie or the Gardening Knitter, please do. Both of them have some great stuff to write about. Julie's comment:

Being lazy is all in the eye of the beholder. You need to think of it as...Kids need their rest also and if you get up and moving you'll just wake them up...Hubby is already used to making his own lunch and you'd probably just be in his way if you got up with him anyway...The grounds will be there later in the day and shovels were made for winter time weren't they?...If you start and finish a project all in one day what will you have to do tomorrow? Save it and pick away at it a little at a time...The weeds need a little love also, they are living plants that need a chance to thrive also...The fridge just gets all wet when you open the door from all the humidity in the summer air so you may as well wait til it cools a bit before you soft scrub it...the oven will just get all messed up with the Holiday cooking in November and December so why waste your could continue with the rock walls but will probably change your mind about it later anyway...And summer is a time for us to kick back and care for yourself in other ways, with a good book to enhance your mind, with sunlight that we lack so much of in the winter, with fresh air (as long as you can escape the smog) that you can actually breathe all the way in before your nostrils stick together from the icy air of winter, and if you think about the crap you are going to be eating come Thanksgiving you'd be proud of your diet this day. You see, it's all in the way you look at's your choice, you can see yourself as lazy or you can look at it as self preservation. Keep enjoying this summer and cherish every minute of it...all to soon we'll be in bed with sore backs from shoveling snow and suffering with the most recent cold virus or flu. And the stress of holiday gift giving is on it's way. Rest will soon be busy as hell.

As I was reading this, I was thinking to myself "Oh wow - she is right. Before I know it winter will be here and I won't have enjoyed the short summer yet. " What is it about having free time that makes me feel guilty? If I have an hour to myself, I start to get all panicky if I don't have something planned. When G gets home as asks me "what did you do today?" I start to freak out if I can't come up with plausible things to say. " a load of laundry." "Okay" he says. "What did you do with the rest of the 8 hours?" I try not to question him when he's done with his day because I know what the answer is... "I stood on the deck of a boat, in the hot sun, catching fish, getting sunburned and drinking water". Allrighty then...if that's how he relaxes, then I think that's wonderful. But if my idea of relaxing is not having an agenda of any sort....I should be allowed to have that

Well, I didn't want to turn this into a bitch session at G - (funny how that always happens...I can't help it) but an exercise for myself in trying to see things differently. I need to look at the whole picture...not always what is stuck in my face. The projects left undone around my home, crafts started and not finished, books I've been meaning to read and places I want to go, those are the little rocks in the scheme of my life. The big rocks, which are myself, my health, my daughter, will all be surrounded by the little ones. They will fall happily into place as long as the big rock foundation is there.

Another thing I read one time is about the Dash of Your Life. It's that dash on your tombstone between your birth and death dates that represents your years lived. Everything you say and do, all your life's experiences, your loves, friends and foes, every person you meet and whether you make a difference in their life....falls inside that dash somewhere. It's quite a monumental thing when you think about it. All of your life is represented by one, tiny, little line. It's how you live that Dash that makes the difference. How are you Living Your Dash?


Sandi said...

Very briefly, I have about two hours a day I get to live in the dash. The rest of the time I spend at work, or at home at work.
I keep telling myself that one day I will get a life, but I haven't figured out how to do that yet.

Sue said...

It's ok to have a messy house, as long as the dishes are done, and the garbage gets taken out. The rest of the stuff can wait. I do tend to do the laundry, but you know what? I bet if I didn't do it for 2 weeks, we would still have enough clothes to wear. They might not be the favorites, but we certainly have enough.
I have a friend who if she is having company over, throws everything in her bedroom and shuts the door, then sprays pledge and windex around like air freshener and puts all her dirty dishes in the oven.
Oh, who am i kidding? That's me.
I can't wait to see you next weekend. Tell Hannah we will do lots of fun things. Are you camping out and where?

Marie said...

Beautifully put!

I'm just learning about this--although it took me a while to get my house to the point where I'd feel comfortable enough to just sit and crochet or sit and listen to music, etc. without feeling guilty. (I'm not a great housekeeper).

We shouldn't feel guilty for having "me" time--if we don't love and give to ourselves, how can we do that for/with others? Sounds simple, but so difficult to follow.

Get out there and dash away, girl!


Momma Monster said...

Sheri, My favorite poem says something about this, at least I think it does!

Excuse this House

Some houses try to hide the fact
that children shelter there.
Ours boasts of it quite openly
the signs are every where....
For smears are on the windows,
little smudges on the doors;
I should apologize, I guess,
for the toys strewn on the floor.
But I sat down with the children
and we played an laughed and read;
And if the doorbell doesn't shine,
their eyes will shine instead.
For when at times I'm forced to choose
the one thing or the other.....
I want to be a housewife,
but first I'll be a MOTHER!

That being said, I just want to let you know how much I enjoy your blog!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts....

Tammy said...

Oh Sheri, I am learning this too... I can get so obsesses with getting my list done or being able to show something for my time, I forget that time is short, especially our summer months here. The winter will be here TOO soon...the inside stuff can wait til then. Thanks so much for this reminder...

Pryncess Kat said...

I'm surfing Yay-Yay blogs today....

Great post!

Dashing off to dash.....

Tatiana said...

As long as that Dash is not empty!
Totally understand your guilt, but how do you actually ignore it... After all there is only a moment between our birth and death, which we people call life.