Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Life is too short

Image hosted by Photobucket.comSome families are made stronger by tragedy and some are torn apart. Some families go through life with the only deaths being those who have lived a full life, while others experience intense sorrow at the young's untimely passing. My very dear lifelong friend, Melody and her family are remembering the passing of their young niece three years ago this week. Melody writes about the day it happened on her blog and how she felt and coped that day and since. I can't even begin to imagine how someone would feel going through a time like that. Those who have dealt with grief know that there is no 'set' time for the grieving to end and usually it never does..... just over time it might not seem all consuming. I have a friend who lost her child. She told me that one of the hardest things for her was to have time go by and have the thought suddenly pop into her head "oh my God, a few minutes have gone by and I haven't thought about _____ . I'm so utterly horrible for forgetting, even for a second". She had to learn to continually stop beating herself up over this.

It's ok to live, love and remember.


Melody said...

I have heard Terri say those exact words many times over the past 3 years...some day soon, I hope, she won't feel guilty about having fun. I try to tell her that it doesn't mean that she has forgotten Vannah just because she can go a few hours without thinking about her. Her mind knows that I'm right but her heart just isn't ready yet. It really did help to just put down in words some of the things that are always racing through my head. Thanks for the support.

Sandi said...

It is tough to lose someone you love. As you know I lost my father when I was a kid and that had an impact on me. I will never have the fear of losing a child, and could not even imagine what it would feel like, but I do empathize with those that have.

Sleeping Mommy said...

It's hard sometimes to remember that it is okay to keep living. And I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child.

My condolences to your friend and her family.

Cindy said...

It's always hard to lose a child. It's good that you are a great friend to your friend and can help her.

My husband's young cousin - 11 years old- died last year after falling off a horse. The funeral was held in the gym of the middle school. It was the hardest thing I ever had to attend.

Kim said...

My heart breaks for Melody and for her family and their grief. I cannot fathom losing a child. When I almost lost mine, I was in shock, I barely remember the events during her surgery. I imagine it's similar only worse and unending. You are right, there is no set time or right or wrong way for grieving. Much love to all those that are struggling with this.